Companionship or Self centered decision

I should have chosen for the formal.

Sometimes I won't deny this term " action speaks louder than words"
it's easy to say, easy to give promises, easy to say I will nt give up, easy to say I will
commit etc... But when u get dwn to your actions, everything seems to change! When I looked back and compare to this date, it was never easy!! When you've tried but things doesn't seems to change, what does this imply then? It's like you are in an open sea, struggling to reach the shore but was constantly being drifted away by the current. So sometimes in life, it's not how much you've tried, it's not how much effort u are willing to put in. If situation doesn't change, just like if the current remain strong, you will never reach the shoreline!! You may fuck swear and curse this analogy, but If it ever strike a chord with u, this is for you! Definitely I hate this, but I'm trying to accept this.

My focus is slowly shifting. I need to work really hard ( there you go, WORDS of proclaimation) , stay driven and make the best out of life.
I need to be prudent coz I need my camera at the end of this year!!!

I'm feeling nausea now man!! Damn maybe I need kimchi like pregnant ladies need their prunes! Only difference, after 8mths their tummy will be deflated, my unborn has been there for years!! Alright need to really slp now, else I will be really grumpy tmr!! Gd night

I'm missing the companionship....